You know that sting in your chest when one of your kids says "I hate you" or slams their door in anger? Every instinct in you wants to smooth it over, to fix it, to make them not be mad at you anymore. But what if your discomfort with their anger is actually getting in the way of the connection you're trying to build? In this episode, I'm talking with my longtime friend Eli Harwood, known online as Attachment Nerd. She's a licensed therapist, attachment expert, and bestselling author who earned secure attachment in her own life after a difficult childhood. Eli shares three simple phrases her mom said to her that helped heal their relationship and build trust between them—phrases any of us can start using today. In this episode, you'll learn: 💜 Why Eli's mom had to convince herself it was okay for Eli to be mad at her 💜 The difference between "right side up" and "upside down" parenting 💜 What Eli thinks about adult children cutting off their parents—and why nobody does this lightly Even if you didn't grow up with secure attachment modeled for you, even if you've made mistakes, you can start building that bond with your kids today. For full show notes, including takeaways, click here. *** Announcements: ✨ Want to start noticing the good in your motherhood? The Flecks of Gold Journal is a simple one-line-a-day practice that helps you see your kids and your life differently. Grab yours here—it's the perfect gift for yourself or another mom this holiday season. Related Episodes: 387: Why Calming Yourself Helps Calm Your Child // Eli Harwood, MA, LPC 386: Raising Securely Attached Kids // Eli Harwood, MA, LPC 367: 3 Ways to Create Lasting Bonds with Your Kids // Mike Westover (Rachel's Dad!) Episode Sponsors: Factor: Eat smart at FactorMeals dot com SLASH 3in3050off and use code 3in3050off to get 50% off your first box, plus Free Breakfast for 1 Year. Let's Connect! Join me on Instagram! Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course ***