5 Dating Red Flags You Should Never Ignore
“Obsessive behavior is not love.” -Colette Gallagher (04:39-04:41)
You might be dating someone with great qualities. You're getting along really well and having a wonderful time. Can you really spot the red flags during the dating stage to save yourself? In this week's episode, Colette Gallagher shares the five red flags during dating to watch out for.
Part One of ‘5 Red Flags During the Dating Stage to Watch Out For’
The first red flag - the person you're dating starts showing up to places that they weren't invited to. As cute and romantic as it might seem, if a guy shows up to see you without being invited, it's a red flag. That's something to be aware of because obsessive behavior is not love. If you're living in the same neighborhood and you just happen to randomly see him, you can overlook that. In general, just stay aware.
“Be with someone who brings out the best in you.” – Colette Gallagher (13:51-13:54)
We live in this society where it's almost romantic to be obsessed with somebody. We call that love. However, being obsessed with somebody, following them around and stalking them is not love.
Being stalked is not romantic no matter how seemingly innocent it might begin.
The second red flag - when they go out of their way to help you without being asked, to the point where it's pushy. The third one is not having friends or a social life. It might seem cute if they can spend a lot of time with you, but if they can't make friends, communicate, form bonds and relationships with people in a general sense, it's definitely a red flag. You don't want to become someone's whole life. It's okay if someone wants to do everything with you. But it's important that you have your own life.
Number four is coming to your girls’ nights or guys’ nights. If they have a small circle, it's definitely a red flag if he or she can't let you go out alone with your friends. Hanging out with your friends and being able to talk openly without your partner being there is really important. You could volunteer or take a class. You should have the freedom to do things on your own without your partner for your own joy and happiness.
Part Two of ‘5 Red Flags During the Dating Stage to Watch Out For’
The fifth red flag is when they want to make you their whole world. This is co-dependence. It's not healthy. It's not okay to think that one person is going to be able to fulfill every single need that you have. When you know your needs, you can find different people in different ways to get them met. Because what happens is if you do find this person that meets all your needs, you're going to overlook major issues in the relationship.
“Don’t expect someone to fulfill every single need that you have.” – Colette Gallagher (11:33-11:40)
If you're with somebody and they're starting to bring out the worst in you, making you feel crazy or bad, needing to check in all the time, or not feeling trust, then that's definitely a red flag that you want to look at. You want someone that brings out the best in you where it doesn't feel like drama.
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