Where were YOU in 1999, fuckbuddies? Because Jen + Lillian were exactly where you'd look for them: pining, and pining hard. Today we read you excruciating, mortifying passages from our journals, ripped from moments better left forgotten in high school and college. Hear about Secret Admirer fails, drunken Florida men, and some choice poetry from angsty beatnik Lillian Bustle.

For tickets to BOUNCE HOUSE on June 28: tinuryl.com/bounceshow