“You don’t need a stretcher up there – you need a mop!”

Just in time for the very most spookiest part of the year, your favorite Distinguished Professors discuss the films that established the slasher movie genre – Halloween, Friday the 13th, and A Nightmare on Elm Street – in their offensively-named named Goryhole Special! Topics covered include Psycho’s origination of the slasher genre, Halloween’s great main theme, Robert Englund’s thinly-disguised role as folklorist Jan Harold Brunvand in Urban Legend, our brief windows of attractiveness, the anti-sex message of these movies and whether they actually discourage people from having sex, a brief digression into Defoe’s Moll Flanders, the disappointing lack of boobs in these movies, the lack of story and decent red herrings in Friday the 13th, Crazy Ralph and the “death curse,” why you don’t pet or talk to random dogs, the cruel disappointment of not getting to see Ned get killed, a brief ode to jorts and neckerchiefs, the utter lack of non-white folks, why you can’t think too hard about plot for any of these movies, the various murder tableaus as art, why you need to Negan every psycho killer every opportunity you get, a reference to Vangelis (RIP), Freddy as the superior slasher and is your boyfriend now, the problem of shooting California for Illinois, the uncanniness of the lonely suburb, a quick flashback to Pumaman, Friday the 13th’s portrayal of the fifties, lucid dreaming is the key to beating Freddy, don’t bone your TV, some slander of John Saxon’s character as a dad, Hmong deaths from sleep paralysis as an inspiration for Wes Craven, a rumination on the nature of sweet dreams, the barrier to enjoying Freddy imposed by his status as a pedophile and child murderer, hilarious mantraps, lighting film vs. digital, Vanderpool’s plans for a horror movie, and a lesson about the monsters to whom we give too much attention.