This week’s podcast episode is one I’ve avoided for a long time.
Not because it wasn’t important. Not because I hadn’t thought about it. But because on some level, I think I’ve been avoiding survivor’s guilt altogether.
Don’t get me wrong—I’ve absolutely wrestled with the question: Why did I survive, and Dez didn’t?
If you’re not familiar with Dez’s story, she was a fellow mom who lived about an hour from me. Less than a year after my own amniotic fluid embolism, Dez experienced the same rare birth complication… and tragically, she didn’t survive.
It shook me.
For years, that tension sat quietly in my soul—unspoken, unresolved, but always present. Survivor’s guilt has layers. It’s complex. And yet, I know I’m not alone in this.
So this week, I’m finally talking about it. Because the time is now. Because I want to serve this community honestly. And because I know for certain, I’m not the only one carrying this kind of grief with gratitude.
In the episode, I explore what survivor’s guilt can feel like as a believer—how we reconcile the pain with the truth that God does not make mistakes. I pray it encourages your heart, wherever you are on the healing journey.
Tune in to hear more. You are not alone.
All the days ordained for me were written in your book...” (Psalm 139:16)
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