*PLS CONSULT TIMESTAMPS* Patrick Maguire is a professional powerlifter, voice actor, Ghost Clash broadcaster, polyphasic sleep researcher, and aspirational foot model. He has totaled 2342 raw with wraps, sporting competition bests of a 1014 squat, a 635 bench, and a 771 deadlift. His training ebook will be available on Kindle this week; he’s also writing a really epic progression fantasy that involves familiars, bone runes, fighting pits, and possibly a pro-garlic vampiric conspiracy. You can find him at  @FullPrimalPower  on Youtube and Instagram. Stay tuned for the back half of our interview next week. Timestamps: 0:00 My important apology 00:45 Hype-adjacent intro 01:30 We establish Patrick’s ethos 02:00 Patrick announces his ebook release 02:20 Kindle publishing 03:15 Patrick’s sweet, sweet voice 03:50 Patrick’s athletic background 05:45 I crash test a Goonies joke 06:40 Arnold in the morning, Ronnie Coleman at night 07:45 "Injuries are for pussies" (not our words) 08:05 Training is like the top from Inception 08:30 As in gym, so with life 10:40 John Haack is victim weight; Patrick calls Shane Hunt a little guy 11:30 You’ve got to train like the little guys 12:00 Training under “Lil” Joe Sullivan 12:30 Asynchronous deloads 14:00 We’re going to rebuild him, less fat and stronger 15:30 Phasic nutrition with Brianny Terry 16:00 Sleeves are gay, and we fully support them 16:30 Splenda mommies 17:00 Lil Joe Sullivan does bodybuilding 18:00 See that boat, sailor? You missed it. 19:30 GPP facilitates a quicker turnaround time between meets 20:30 The danger of water cuts 21:00 Patrick competed at 328 in April; he’ll compete at 350 in November 21:30 Stop being so (insulin) sensitive 22:40 Sloppy honey application 23:00 Pulling 771 at Ghost Clash 23:45 Patrick’s deadlift plateaued at 700 until he implemented grip work 24:30 Feeding two birds with one scone, but the birds aren’t real 25:15 Patrick has a threesome with squat and bench while the deadlift gets cucked 26:45 You know you’ve hit squat depth when you cum 27:40 I aspire to become Dáin Ironfoot 28:20 Patrick broke the assault bike to avoid having to use it 28:40 TOP SECRET barefoot nose-breathing perineum-sunning protocol 30:15 The cardiovascular system responds quickly to training 31:20 Patrick’s actual warm up: Squat 3x10 with 525 32:00 Joe’s incredible responsiveness as a coach 34:00 Stress management 35:30 Compartmentalization might make you productive in the short term, but it ultimately stunts you 38:00 Patrick’s split: 4 days training, 1 day crying 38:50 Foot finder can definitely be platonic 39:25 Dicks in the DMs 39:40 I asked Patrick to rub my belly until a genie came out, but he was pooping 40:00 Mental health 40:45 Patrick’s childhood home burnt all the way down 41:15 When the basement of Maslow’s Hierarchy collapses, you’ve got to start keeping a mattress in your car 41:40 Drexler’s landscape is Kafka-esque 43:15 Sometimes you just imagine a cat 43:00 Behavioral Health units 46:00 Why Patrick left his government job 46:45 Making the uncomfortable decision Intro and outro music: Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio