This week on the Cinema Duces Tecum Podcast, we bravely dive into the murky depths of Anaconda—a film audacious enough to ask: What if a documentary crew with zero survivalinstincts took on the deadliest predator in the Amazon… and lost to Jon Voight’s accent? And more importantly, how many rewrites can a script survive before it becomes a nature documentary directed by Tommy Wiseau?

Our elite team of cinematic public defenders—Stephen “Sticky Rice” Betz, Peter “I go on tangents” Borruso, James “the House Cat” Bradford, and Eric “El Gallo” Arias—brave the swampy nonsense to dissect Anaconda’s most egregious crimes against nature, logic, and acting, including:

• Ice Cube losing multiple fights to Jon Voight despite previously defeating Debo.
• Owen Wilson believing the Amazon jungle’s primary effect is heightened horniness.
• Danny Trejo choosing to battle an Anaconda with his own head rather than his gun.
• Jon Voight’s mesmerizing Paraguayan accent and his character’s inexplicable jumping abilities.

•  And, naturally, cinema’s most legendary moment: Jon Voight's iconic regurgitated wink.

Throughout this episode, we passionately debate whether Anaconda is a forgotten gem or simply a lucky disaster, explore the dubious logic behind snake explosions and questionable survival strategies, and dream up the definitive Anaconda sequel (because the world obviously needs more reptilian thrills). We give special shout-outs to our loyal listeners (Matt from Rochester, we've got you!), navigate the uncomfortable territory of jungle seduction, and finally answer the eternal cinematic question: Is Anaconda secretly brilliant, or just a fever-induced hallucination?

🎬 Next up: By special request, we're diving into Howard the Duck—a movie that asks, “What if Marvel’s first cinematic hero was a horny, interdimensional duck with a jazz band?” Start emotionally preparing now, because we’re about to wade beak-first into the most feathered film ever made.

Yakwala.