He says he wants to take things slow and get to know you organically. But when direct questions about his background get dodged, he frames your need for basic information as paranoia, and something's off. A listener named Jada shares: "We matched two weeks ago and the chemistry is amazing. He texts good morning and goodnight, he's enthusiastic about meeting up. But whenever I ask specifics like where he works, what neighborhood he lives in, or even his last name, he gets vague and changes the subject. He keeps saying he likes to stay mysterious and we should get to know each other organically. Part of me thinks it's charming, but another part is worried. Is asking for his last name before we meet reasonable?" In this episode, we break down the difference between genuine mystery and information withholding. You'll learn the practical steps to vet someone before you go in-person, what actual red flags look like in the early stages, and how to advocate for your peace of mind without feeling like you're being unreasonable. What You'll Hear In This Episode: The difference between staying mysterious and hiding information How to recognize the signs of suspicious gaslighting Damona’s 3-step vetting process: PeopleFinders, LinkedIn, and reverse image search The vital online dating step you might be skipping  The one-to-one rule: definitive timing guidelines for dating apps How to protect yourself from the rise in romance scams without closing yourself off to connection Vet your matches with PeopleFinders today! PeopleFinders has set up a special three-day trial offer for Dates & Mates listeners. Head to DamonaHoffman.com/safety to search someone's background, verify their information, and get the peace of mind you need. Got a dating safety question or want to share what you've learned? DM @DamonaHoffman on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, or leave a voicemail or text at 424-246-6255 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices