In a raw and vulnerable podcast episode, Victor and Robyn share their journey of navigating marriage, parenthood, and personal growth. Their story reveals a common relationship challenge: The delicate balance between prioritizing your spouse and your children. The Roots of Disconnection: Robyn candidly admits that for years, she chose her children over her husband. This wasn't a deliberate decision, but a gradual process rooted in several factors: 1. Changing Dynamics: As their family grew and children became more involved in activities, their relationship shifted from being couple-centered to child-centered. 2. Unaddressed Expectations: Small feelings of betrayal and unmet expectations began to create distance between them. 3. Individual Pursuits: Victor's jujitsu and Robyn's yoga and surfing became separate activities that further pulled them apart. The Self-Care Connection: A key insight from their conversation is the critical role of self-care. Victor, in particular, requires extensive daily self-care - sometimes up to 4-5 hours - to feel grounded and balanced. This includes: - Listening to educational content - Stretching and mobility work - Breathwork - Workouts - Running - Mobility Therapy What Keeps Them Together Despite their challenges? Two things have sustained their relationship: 1. Open-mindedness: Both are willing to listen and explore new ideas. 2. Self-discipline: Each are commitment to physical health and self-improvement The Missing Piece: Shared Vision Currently, they're working to develop a shared vision for their future. Robyn emphasizes the importance of not just existing, but actively creating something meaningful together. Key Takeaways: - Relationships require constant communication and realignment - Self-care is crucial, but shouldn't come at the expense of connection- Maintaining individual growth while nurturing the relationship is challenging but possible Recommended Resources: - "The Gene Keys" by Richard Rudd - Beatrice Chestnut's Enneagram book on 27 types Their story is a testament to the complexity of long-term relationships and the ongoing work required to maintain them.