The Dark Side of Stoicism - Learning to connect by letting go

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For The Boyz Podcast

Terrell Baker

5 episodes

1 week ago

This is for the boyz. For the Boyz that wanna change the world but need to change themselves first. For the boys that had to grow up quick. For the boys that got dealt a hard hand. For the boys that struggle to overcome your own self destructive patterns, habits, beliefs. This is me sharing absolutely everything I’ve learned in the last 10+ years of me doggedly trying to figure it all out myself. Everything that has helped me, healed me, strengthened me along the way and allowed me to build a life I love. Coming to God, healing your body, rewiring your mind, and everything in between.

Self-Improvement

Education

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Self-Improvement

Education

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The Dark Side of Stoicism - Learning to connect by letting go | Episode #5

For The Boyz Podcast

1 hour 45 seconds

2 weeks ago

The Dark Side of Stoicism - Learning to connect by letting go | Episode #5

In this deeply personal and reflective solo episode, Terrell Baker explores the theme of attachment, vulnerability, and emotional courage. Speaking candidly, he shares how self-sabotaging behaviors in relationships often stem from unresolved childhood wounds, fear of betrayal, and the illusion of control. Using vivid stories from his life — from his emotional childhood to struggles with connection and fear of rejection — Terrell explains how men, in particular, often cope by becoming aloof or overly stoic to avoid pain.

The turning point comes through his spiritual insight: the practice of “loving with an open hand.” Terrell describes how learning to let go, trust God, and approach relationships with honesty, openness, and courage leads to peace and genuine connection. Ultimately, the episode is a heartfelt invitation for listeners to let go of fear and rediscover the open-heartedness of childhood.

Key Themes & Takeaways

Love with an Open Hand: True connection requires courage and surrender, not control or detachment.
Attachment Patterns: Childhood experiences and unmet emotional needs often shape adult relationship dynamics.
Letting Go vs. Pushing Away: Letting go means releasing control while staying open — not withdrawing emotionally.
The Illusion of Control: Fitness, career, and discipline can become substitutes for emotional control and safety.
Masculinity & Vulnerability: Many men hide behind stoicism, mistaking emotional suppression for strength.
Faith and Surrender: Trusting God and embracing suffering as a teacher allows healing and connection.
Becoming Childlike Again: Reclaiming the exuberance, honesty, and openness of childhood leads to freedom.
Self-Awareness as Redemption: Healing begins with acknowledging your patterns and their origins.

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