I’ve been “playing” guitar for over thirty years. All my friends know me as the guitar guy. I have thousands of dollars worth of gear. I know all kinds of music theory. I can’t play guitar.
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This isn’t my main account so I can hide my shame from my friends. I’ve had guitars hanging on my wall since I was 15 years old. I own four acoustic and six electric guitars, plus a ton of pedals amps, etc.I give out guitar playing advice on forums, but it’s just stuff I’ve read or I google the problem and give the AI answer. I’d much rather sit and watch guitar tutorials or music theory videos than actually practice.I know what scales are but I don’t know any. I know what modes and triads are but I don’t know any. I can play maybe three chords, but not well. I like the feeling of making music on the guitar but I also hate practicing.At this point, it’s part of my identity and everyone assumes I’m accomplished when they find out how long I’ve been “playing”. I always come up with some excuse on the rare occasion that someone asks me to play something. I’m terrified for anyone to hear me play because my secret will be revealed, instantly.I’m in my late forties, and I’m fully aware that the fantasy of being famous and playing on the stage for thousands of people is far behind me. If I ever did become proficient, it would just be for my own gratification.I do this with all my hobbies. I spend a bunch of money, get lots of gear and never do anything with it. I own four sets of juggling balls and can’t juggle. I own a weaving set and have never completed a project. I’ve been trying to learn Spanish but don’t remember any of the vocab. I don’t know what’s broken in my brain; I’m fairly intelligent and have a tech savvy job. I should be able to learn these things.I know the obvious advice is to try another instrument or give it up. However, I really do like the idea of playing guitar and I’m not willing to give the hobby up. Removing this part of my identity would feel like killing part of who I am. Maybe today will be the day I start practicing, but I doubt it.Anyway, I’m a fake and a liar and I just wanted to get that off my chest.Edit: I’ll summarize the most commented responses since I have read everything.You have ADHD.Give up and sell your gear.Just practice.Don’t be a little bitch.Everything is AI, including this post.Take physical lessons for accountability.Lying is bad, mmmkay?It’s ok to be a collector.