
After a long-term relationship ends, some of us fear commitment. Divorce forever shatters the illusion of “til death do us part” so is fear of commitment simply a more realistic perspective on love and relationships or are we just wounded and suffering from commitment phobia? Is it possible to be in a committed relationship and still maintain autonomy and freedom? What even qualifies as is long-term, post-divorce? Andie and Duckie tackle their own commitment issues and explore the fact that post-divorce they’ve both gravitated towards relationship structures that are not strictly monogamous. Has this helped? Can ethically non-monogamous or monogamish relationships be considered commitments?
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WebMD’s definition of Commitment Phobia in case you think you have a real phobia!
https://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/commitment-phobia-symptoms-signs
Alternatives to Monogamy in case the idea of only being with one person freaks you out but you still find yourself wanting to develop beyond casually dating someone.
https://sexualbeing.org/blog/8-relationship-alternatives-to-monogamy/
The quote Andie shared: “The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you, but it’s not. It is an existential truth: only those people who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core of another person–without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a thing, and without becoming addicted to the other. They allow the other absolute freedom because they know that if the other leaves, they will be as happy as they are now. Their happiness cannot be taken by the other, because it is not given by the other.” – Osho (This guy was the founder of the Rajneesh Movement and was a problematic mystic with a lot of radical ideas BUT his thoughts about love are pretty cool.
https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/1432084-being-in-love-how-to-love-with-awareness-and-relate-without-fear