Forgiveness is one of the most misunderstood parts of growth. We often think it’s about excusing someone else, or forgetting what happened. But real forgiveness isn’t about them at all — it’s about freeing yourself.
In this episode of Grow with the Flo, I talk about forgiveness as a practice of growth and self-liberation. We’ll explore what psychology, spirituality, and philosophy say about forgiveness, and why both forgiving others and forgiving ourselves are essential for healing and moving forward. I’ll share personal reflections and practical tools you can use to begin your own forgiveness journey.
One powerful approach I’ll unpack is the REACH method, developed by psychologist Everett Worthington. It offers a step-by-step process to move toward forgiveness:
R — Recall the hurt and acknowledge the impact.
E — Empathize with the offender, if possible, by seeing their perspective.
A — Altruistic gift: recognize forgiveness as a gift you give yourself and them, not something they must “deserve.”
C — Commit to the choice of forgiving.
H — Hold on to forgiveness when old feelings resurface.
Forgiveness is a process — not a one-time event — and the REACH method can serve as a guide whenever you feel stuck.
Journaling Prompts:
What anger, resentment, or guilt am I ready to let go of?
How has holding onto this pain shaped my life or my relationships?
What would forgiveness — for myself or someone else — make possible?
What’s one step I could take today to move closer to forgiving?
How do my family, culture, or faith shape the way I see forgiveness?