It is so easy to look at me sitting down, talking, and say "oh, it doesn't sound that bad, she is just complaining", 

But what I discussed in this video is just brushing the surface and are all happening while running around, taking care of 1) the planned tasks on the workflow of our electronic medical records, and 2) the unplanned events that come with taking care of acutely sick patients.   

Nonetheless, I'm so glad to have started at the bedside where I imagined myself for many years. I had dreams of working in the ED for many years to just make sure I went home with a different story to tell every day and know I'd go to work not knowing what to expect. To teach new nurses and to lead. To become a certified critical care nurse, to try flight nursing, and to take care of more traumas. However, those dreams have been crushed under the pressure of simply surviving shift to shift from being mentally and physically exhausted. I could not find a work life balance. I could not serve everyone at work with 100%, come home and give family and friends 100%, and myself 100%. A lot of my service attitude was drained at work and left me and family with nothing and if I drop dead tomorrow, my service at work can be replaced but my service to family and self cannot so I've made the decision to leave.  

Music on intro: https://youtu.be/N9djACY8kTY

Music on outro: https://youtu.be/NS71HLgd9q4

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