Guilt and shame can trap us in our own vice (literally and metaphorically!). But here's the thing: they can be helpful guides if we use them as a messenger to know ourselves better and take action. The problem is that shame often concerns unspeakable taboos, which are tricky to discuss. As such, we barely consider if we deserve the shame we feel; we don't hear other points of view, and it just feels like "us". But we can be badly misinformed. If you feel overwhelmed, trapped or suffocated by guilt and shame, I hope this might be helpful. My approach to emotions is rooted in the belief that every feeling is valid, sound, and serves a purpose.
Emotions can be thought of as messengers knocking at our door, asking us to recognise and understand them. By embracing this perspective, we can view emotions not as good or bad but as opportunities for growth and self-discovery. Let's explore guilt and shame in more depth. Guilt stems from the recognition of having made a mistake, prompting corrective action. This can be constructive, helping us learn and improve ourselves. Shame, however, takes this further by suggesting that we are inherently wrong. While it can motivate change, questioning the origins and meanings we assign to shame is crucial for personal growth. Although shame can be a valid emotion, it's important to give ourselves permission to question its correctness.
Imagine yourself as a young child, even before your earliest memories. At this vulnerable stage, your sense of self, values, and understanding of right and wrong begin developing. As a child, making mistakes was met with reactions from parents, teachers, and authority figures, shaping your understanding of acceptable behaviour and, ultimately, your personality.
Recognising that these authority figures were operating from their own beliefs and experiences, influenced by their backgrounds and fears, highlights how our early lessons on safety and behaviour shape our adult lives.
Reflecting on emotions like guilt and shame can help us gain insight into our behaviours and beliefs. We can challenge internalised feelings and understand their origins, transforming negative emotions into catalysts for positive change and personal growth.I hope this video encourages you to reevaluate your emotions and foster a healthier relationship with guilt and shame. Together, we can continue learning and growing on our journey toward self-discovery.
Want to talk? Find me here!
https://authenticlifecoaching.ch/free-clarity-session/
00:00 Introduction
01:30 Guilt: I did wrong
02:04 Shame: I am wrong
04:43 Where did most of your shame come from?
10:30 Is the shame valid?
#navigatingemotions #guiltfree #personalgrowth #emotionalintelligence