Occasionally, solitude may be beneficial and necessary for us but long-lasting solitude may become a state of loneliness, leading to poor quality of life, the development of illness and emotional distress. The reasons for such solitude are different, they may exist within an individual, family and society ...The path out of isolation can be long and painful. Especially if a person fights against it alone, because interpersonal psychological needs can not be satisfied by ourselves! We can only satisfy them through interpersonal relationships. Without that, there is no personal, social and emotional development, including the development of the brain ... For growth and mental health, we need others, loving touch and appropriate incentives. Loneliness reflects the lack of relationships with others, where they could satisfy the needs of acceptance, security, affection, and love. Even the feeling of self emerges and is sharpened through interpersonal relationships. The quality of relationships with others depends on the quality of the contact. Contact facilitates the presence, authenticity, words that are delineated by silence, conversation, action. A good listener provides space for conversation and the time for the caller to tell what he is experiencing, what he is facing with, what burdens him. He is invited to join his loneliness. Through a quality dialogue, the listener helps the caller to keep in touch with reality, because one can not change what he does not accept! Instead of combating loneliness with a caller, it is important that we help him to explore, understand and possibly recognize that it is not important to change what a person is, but what a person does with what it is. Accepting contact based on the awareness and sincerity is the foundation that will remove the limits of loneliness and unlock its core.


Julija PELC - Psychologist Julija Pelc, gestalt and family psychotherapist EAGT, EAP, is experienced in counseling and therapeutic work within education, health and social care. She has experiences with children, adolescents and adults, she works also with clients who had various traumatic experiences. She acquired certificates in various postgraduate programs and schools in Psychotherapy and Supervision. She likes to use creative techniques and shares knowledge and experiences at professional meetings... At Red Cross she is instructor in the First Psychosocial Aid program. She runs the professional council of the Society of Psychologists of Slovenia and volunteers at Samarian - as supervisor on the telephone for people in distress.

Recorded in Udine 4th July - IFOTES Congress "Leaving loneliness, building relationships"