Oh friends. We've burned the midnight oil twice trying to get you breaking news on what (lots of people on the internet believe) is going on with Kate Middleton. The theories are irresistible, irrepressible, unfounded, and addicting. We do really hope she's ok.

Also! Kirby's fave does her country proud by insulting a police officer.

Also! We discuss the royal in-law everyone is finally not talking about.

Also! Another (and we pray lord this is our last) comment on the Amber Heard discourse.