Without a doubt this is the most personal LTB episode yet. And you could say this episode took 33 years to make. I could never say my dad and I had a bad or unhealthy relationship, however I always knew I wanted to be closer, always desired something deeper. But I wasn't sure how to go about it and wasn't sure if he wanted the same thing. Years of therapy, years of conversations, years of tears, years of (released) resentment have led to this moment. 

 

Coming back home in 2020, I was eager to work on the relationships with my parents. When met with some (intergenerational) roadblocks, I realized that what I was trying to work through was built on foundations of trauma passed down from parents, grandparents, great grandparents, well you get it. When speaking with my dad, I realized that he and I share many of the same fears, anxieties, thought patterns, behaviors and that my story mirrors his in many ways.  My frustrations with him are similar to what he experienced with his own parents. A lack of communication, lack of guidance at times, lack of emotional closeness. For so long I can recall feeling empty when it came to the relationships with my parents. I don't feel that way anymore. 

 

Seeing my dad as a man, trying to figure out his own life, and not just as a dad eased some of the resentment I felt and created the opening for empathy and understanding. Seeing him own his healing journey and being willing to listen to me and have some of those difficult yet necessary conversations healed parts of my inner child that were perhaps unseen or unheard for so long. 

 

So here it is. Sharing a piece of our journey with yall. Documenting this moment in time for the two of us and for whoever comes next.

 

The Long Way Home. A return to ourselves. 

 

Thank you for listening.