From training at the world-renowned International Butler Academy to running households for aristocratic and UHNW families across the UK, Rhian Thoma’s journey is a masterclass in resilience, professionalism, and the evolving reality of private service.
With ten years’ experience across stately homes, formal estates, and high-expectation principals, Rhian shares the truth behind the job — the pressure, the unpredictability, the burnout, and the moments that make it all worth it.
He opens up about managing understaffed homes, navigating employer expectations, building strong household teams, and how becoming a father has reshaped his view of work–life balance in an industry that rarely slows down.
In this episode, Philippa and Rhian dive into:
🧳 How Butler Academy training prepares you for real UHNW households
🏰 The transition from butler to house manager — and why most people skip crucial steps
⚠️ The rise of health & safety, M&E knowledge, and the pressure to “know everything”
👨👩👧 Why boundaries and balance matter more than ever in private staffing
🧠 The mindset required to survive (and thrive) in demanding service roles
A grounded, insightful conversation that reveals the real working life behind the gates — from the traditions that still hold strong to the rapid changes shaping the next generation of private service professionals.
Resources & Links:
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