"Why didn't she leave", you ask.

"Why does she keep dating the same types of men over and over? When will she learn? "

Sounds familiar? Don't we just love that judgment coming from uneducated, well-meaning people who are not familiar with the concept of trauma bonding.

Well... It's biology. Childhood trauma and/or narcissistic abuse can create a true addiction in the brain. A trauma bond.

This Episode is the logical next step in our Chaos Addiction Mini-Series, after Episode 15 A and Episode 15B, where we talked about how things feel and how we suffer from the boredom and the deafening silence that follow years of running on adrenaline, oxytocin and cortisol - but precisely, we didn't dive into the brain chemicals and the biology of addiction to chaos.

Here, Faustina goes over:

• the various stress hormones involved in abusive relationships, (cortisol, adrenaline, dopamine and oxytocin)
• what that addiction may look like for autistic women,
• the unfortunate rewiring of the brain that makes it challenging for a narcissistic abuse survivor to settle away from chaos,
• how it feels when you really really want to get out but can't seem to,
• how that wiring can be healed, even when it comes from childhood,
• very concrete, ASD-friendly, actionable choices survivors on the spectrum can make to get those hormone levels back to normal, and build bridges away from chaos and towards peace.

Please leave this show a 5* review.

In 16B we will talk about concrete steps to normalize the levels of the neurochemicals we described here.

More here about ⁠Trauma Bond Science⁠ with Darlene Lancer.

Season 2, Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for Family Court (starting with this "addiction to chaos" mini-series) is aLiberation Series that suggests things to look into as you rebuild yourself, so that you can become the version of yourself that is so detached emotionally, that you can prepare for family court correctly.

Emotional detachment is where I want to help you get to, so that any thoughts I may have about court prep actually land.

DETACH, BABY, DETACH!

Here is the order I recommend for your healing journey towards emotional freedom, as you work to become a new version of yourself -the version that can actually win in court:

• First step is to not go back. There's a true addiction to chaos: ⁠⁠⁠Episode 15A⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠Episode15B⁠⁠⁠, ⁠Episode 16A⁠, Episode 16B.

• You then want to work with a therapist and see if you carry PTSD, and what types of therapy will help you heal the PTSD.For me, it was EMDR: Episode 17, Episode 18.

• You then want to see Forgiveness as a tactical advantage and as a massive step in your personal development.That's Episode 19.

• The next things to think about in your liberation and in reclaiming your dignity, will be codependency and gratitude.

Follow the show so you can hear the entire Season 2 about Emotional Detachment.

While you wait for the entire season 2 to come out about Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for Family Court, check out ⁠⁠Episode9: The Court Date you Can't Stop Thinking About - Breaking the Anxiety Spiral⁠⁠⁠.

Light in the Battle is where you come to think about how to heal from trauma, how to break the addiction to chaos, how to recover from narcissistic abuse, how to become the person you need to be in order to win a custody battle, and about nervous system recovery. This content is for general information and inspiration only. It reflects lived experience and summaries of publicly available research. It is not medical, mental‑health, legal, or professional advice, and it isn’t a substitute for advice tailored to your situation. Please seek support from a qualified professional who understands your needs.