JOY & STRESS – IT’S THE HOLIDAYS!   Dr. Carol Queen’s Good Vibrations platform allows her to focus on sex education and women’s pleasure. There is an abundance of sex education in The Sex & Pleasure Book: Good Vibrations Guide to Great Sex for Everyone. Dr. Diana and Dr. Carol enjoyed a conversation about joys and stressors over the holidays. To have more joy, we need to manage our stress better!   The mind-body approach – the brain is locked in an intricate embrace with the body. It turns out the body has a big say in what we do and who we are. Information flows into the brain not only through all our senses but also from the vagus nerve as it snakes past all our organs, especially the gut. The vagus offers a pathway for healing the mind through the body.   Deep breathing practices of mindfulness can create an inner state of calm. Like most organs, our lungs are on autopilot, but we can take the wheel. Deep breathing for a minute or so recruits the vagus to send an all-clear signal to the brain. In doing so, the heart slows, the blood vessels relax, and the gut contractions smooth out. The gut, sometimes called the “second brain,” is home to trillions of microbes (composing the microbiome). An unbalanced gut microbiome, often a consequence of the standard American diet, is a potent source of inflammation and this can lead to major depression and anxiety.   Self-Compassion is better than self-esteem! An analysis of 14 studies found that people high in self-compassion were less vulnerable to depression, anxiety, and stress. When you see yourself clearly – both positive and negative traits – you can more easily cope with setbacks and mistakes. Self-compassion means treating yourself in the same way you would treat a treasured friend. Some people feel they need self-criticism to motivate themselves. Rather than motivating, it makes people feel anxious, incompetent, and depressed.   Relieving stress through sex.  Sex toys can be fun and can spice up a relationship! Dr. Carol has talked to men wanting to buy a sex toy for a partner. Dr. Carol will ask, “Have you talked to your lover?”  The answer is often, “No.” Communication is essential!   Buying a gift card at Good Vibrations or Babeland is a safe bet. Then you can make it part of a Date Night. Visit the store together and ask questions of a well-informed staff member. Dr. Carol and Dr. Diana had a lively discussion about clit-sucking toys, mutual masturbation, and reading erotica.