'I wish I had understood the risks more clearly.  My family made decisions they didn't fully understand...' This isn't a blame game, absolutely not - this is just life.  Everyone is doing the very best they can in a horribly difficult moment. There is a limited time to get a message across, options need to be outlined, recommendations made. And jargon and specific terms can be used, that in clever hindsight, we just didn't understand. It's a pressure cooker moment when suddenly you face the oncologist for the first time.  You listen as carefully as you can but emotions are swirling, concentration is fading. Should you ask a question? But...if you could, what should it be? Phil Richards MBE has been in that chair.  He knows first-hand when he was told about his incurable kidney cancer.  He was a young man, married had a very successful senior HR retail career and had a fulfilling life. He asked questions at that first meeting but now years down the line, he realises they were the wrong ones... So  - based on his considered experience - what should you do, what should you say and what are the consequences of saying...I'll just wait and see what happens next...   #cancercandoone #cancerresearchuk #louthrunforlife #kidneycancer #cancerquestions #cancermeeting