Here’s what I learned from my conversation with Virginia DeLuca about her memoir, If You Must Go, I Wish You Triplets:

-When you include your thoughts that are unkind, immature, or that you’re embarrassed to admit, it’s funny and relatable. 

“In the bedroom, I grab two boxes and throw in Perry's shirts, belts, ties, underwear, shorts, and pants, and dump them in the garage. Hopefully, they'll mildew.”

-Sometimes you need an outside perspective to title your book. You, as the writer, are too close to it. Fresh eyes on the manuscript could see something you don’t. Virginia used a company called Title Doctor.

-When you’re writing a scene about your younger self, think of how that version of you is different from your current self. In Virginia’s case, she used to curse a lot and avoided direct confrontation with her mother, so in the scene, she cursed (only once; otherwise it would have been distracting), and when he mother asked her questions she responded in other ways: shrugging off the jacket she didn’t want, and cursing in her mind, wondering where her ride was. 

-Endings are hard! According to Virginia, “It’s hard to sign out.” She wrote an Epilogue five years later, and ended with dialogue—a conversation with her ex-husband. Originally, the exchange was supposed to be at the beginning of the book. Late in the writing process, she moved it to the end. 

-Virginia published her book through Apprentice House Press, the nation’s first and largest entirely student-managed book publisher. They don’t require an agent. University presses are a great way to publish your book if you don’t self-publish or go through a traditional publisher. 

-Write fan letters to your favorite writers! Virginia wrote a fan letter to Abigail Thomas. She wrote that it was her first fan letter, told her how much she loved her writing, and that she had had a small writing success. Abigail responded immediately and said no writing success is small, and asked Virginia to share the link for the article she had published. Later, Virginia asked her to write a blurb. Abigail read her manuscript and wrote a blurb that said, “I’ve never quite felt this way before with any other book.” 

-Virginia’s advice, when I asked about publishing my first book, was to get into a writers group. You need a few people to read your writing and see how everything is landing.