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Now that we've all officially turned 40, we're wrapping up this series by reflecting on the lessons we've learned. Here's the TLDR of Part 1 (but of course, you'll have to listen to get the juicy bits :p ).
Relationships (romantic relationships and friendships):
- If someone doesn't treat you well in a relationship, the cause is roughly as likely to be their own baggage as it is yours.
- Sometimes you're attracted to someone for the wrong reasons (you're projecting your issues on them, you want to "save" them)
- Working on yourself and pursuing the things you want and love are probably the best path to finding a good partner.
- At some point in a romantic relationship, you might want to get the Eight Dates book by Gottman and have those critical conversations before investing further.
- It's ok if not everyone likes you. You can (and probably should) consider their perspectives but you don't have to be a slave to them.
- Boundaries can be a form of care for yourself and others in that they keep relationships sustainable. They acknowledge that everyone has limits.
- Sometimes, when you see people struggling, they may not want or need a "fix" at that time. They may need someone to just be with them, listen to them or give them space.
Career and work outside of family:
- Try to get more clarity early on in your real interests, goals and motivations.
- A sizeable chunk of career decisions and issues (risk taking, financial considerations, building relationships with peers and senior people) may be traced back to your personal issues.