We know, we know. It has been a MINUTE! And for somewhat good reason!
Mike has had what can only be described deeply cursed 2022, so he and PJ are back to make their now-highly-irregular sacrifice to the Ketchup Gods. Hopefully, this will free him from such continuous misfortune.
Cheating Russian robots, rebellious penguins, "Trump's girth," and crab-enriched whiskey await you in this week's episode...
But also: bankrupt crypto lenders, exploding appendices, and attempted hit-and-runs!
(Can you guess which group of nonsense is from this week's stories and which afflicted Mike this year? Only one way to find out!)
Fun Fact: The vertically challenged assassin from Twin Peaks: The Return is named Ike "The Spike" Stadtler. He's portrayed by Christophe Zajac-Denek, whose breakthrough role was as a physical stand-in for an animated alien in the utterly forgotten Simon Pegg/Nick Frost romp Paul.
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Man farts for 5 years after eating ham roll, sues food stall
Oregon distillery turning crabs into whiskey
Russian chess robot cheats, breaks child’s finger
Trump’s epic girth muddies story of assault on secret service agent
Woman sues man for $10k for standing her up on date
Zoomers in suits cause movie theater chaos during Minions movie
Drake’s defense for 18-minute private jet flights – they’re empty
Japanese penguins are not standing for shrinkflation
Hideo Kojima misidentified as assassin of Shinzo Abe
Florida man has car keyed by ex, who left gnome as a “way of knowing it was her”