I arrive in Oslo by train—just in time to nearly melt in a sauna and conversely regret my life choices during a cold plunge that might’ve rewritten my genetic code. Naturally, I recover with an embarrassingly expensive lunch at The Lorry, followed by some quiet time in what might be the most beautiful public library on Earth.

Then, in a move that yodels "why not," I book a same-day flight to Copenhagen instead of taking the 11-hour train option. Because who needs a plan when you’ve got a passport and poor impulse control?

Let my monotone retelling of this oddly relaxing day gently lull you to sleep.