Maybe one reason some of us have never pursued gardening is because we haven't stayed somewhere long enough to allow roots to grow.
On this episode of Neither Here Nor There, hosts Ruthie Gomez and Laura talk with Brandi Carrano about the Settled stage of transition, the hands-down favorite phase where you finally have a sense of belonging and commitment impossible in other stages. They explore how settling provides the gift of freed-up mental bandwidth since moving takes enormous physical, mental, and emotional energy, allowing space for new interests, hobbies, and processing past changes. Laura reflects on how this podcast wouldn't exist without spending settled time together, emphasizing that settled is where you give from rather than just survive.
They discuss the challenge of opening your heart to meaningful relationships again after painful goodbyes, noting that third culture kids who've lived the transition cycle repeatedly often crave home but may not feel settled is normal. The conversation addresses how some people create patterns of needing change every few years even in adult life, and explores the courage required to break those patterns and make the conscious choice to dig deeper into your current dream rather than dreaming a new one. The episode features Brandi Carrano, founder of REAL Women's Ministry and Conference, and pastors alongside her husband John at the International Church of Barcelona.
"So around the five-year mark in Barcelona, I started to get a little itchy. And I didn't know why. It was just kind of this unsettled, you know, asking the big questions," Brandi reflects. "Neither one of us had ever lived in one location longer than five years. Neither one of us. In our whole lives."
The conversation emphasizes that settling doesn't mean being completely free of chaos, but rather having a baseline of knowing you'll be somewhere unless something significantly changes. They encourage those not yet settled that this season may lie ahead, while challenging those who are settled to maintain empathy and provide stability for others going through earlier transition stages, becoming the person others call for recommendations and support rather than constantly seeking stability themselves.