What do Pilates weights, kidney infections, and dingleberries all have in common? Welcome to this week’s chaos. We talk hot girl walk updates (including stealth mode), the invention of the Hot Girl Alert App (patent pending), and why if you can DoorDash from a mountain you can text back. We also unpack the difference between men being emotionally available vs. emotionally capable, call out garbage apologies, and yes—go full PSA mode on bathroom etiquette. Consider this your friendly reminder: wipe, wash, and maybe don’t mansplain trauma at a bar.