Welcome back to The Penny Men, the podcast that never actually starts, it just keeps testing!

This week we promise we’re talking about Star Wars… but first we have to talk about:

• French Nikes
• Segways
• George W. Bush falling off a Segway
• J.R.R. Tolkien’s middle initials
• Jennifer Coolidge Rowling
• The Notorious B.F.G.
• A Spielberg fever dream
• Ben’s cat committing acts of war
• Gem and the Holograms action figures
• Flea markets
• And the philosophical definition of “whiny!”

Somewhere in there, we actually watch Star Wars: A New Hope in release order and try to explain the plot from memory, which means you’ll hear hot takes like:

• R2-D2 is both the smartest and dumbest robot ever made!
• Tusken Raiders: masks or faces? (We don’t know either!)
• Obi-Wan’s greatest Jedi skill is lying from a certain point of view!
• Why George Lucas is basically Quentin Tarantino if he only stole from things your grandparents saw at the movies!
• And why Star Wars toys are the only true way to measure childhood happiness!

It’s a thousand-hour conversation with three old friends (currently at hour 78), but don’t worry—we’ll make it to episode 1,000, even if we have to whiz-pop-whiz-bang our way there!