Here’s something I’ve learned the hard way: this is how nice people get taken advantage of.

I’m a management professor. I study innovation and failure. But this pattern shows up everywhere. Academia. Hospitals. Small businesses. Big corporations.

If you put a grumpy, irritable, forceful person next to a kind, laid-back, empathetic person, most people will work harder for the grumpy one. Not because they’re better. Because pressure feels decisive. It creates urgency. People respond to it.

The nice person feels safe. Comfortable. Human. And that’s exactly the problem.

Deadlines slip. Effort shifts elsewhere. And eventually, the nice person gets avoided. Not because they did anything wrong, but because guilt creeps in. And people don’t like being reminded of where they fell short.

If you’re that nice person, you will miss out unless you build boundaries.

Not anger. Not becoming grumpy. That kills your soul.

Boundaries.

You say: this is what I give. This is what I don’t. And the world can adjust.

I choose to be kind, gentle, generous, and respectful. But I protect myself. If someone doesn’t respond in kind, I walk away.

The goal isn’t power. Or status. Or money.

It’s a peaceful life. With a big heart. And self-respect.

Take care.