This week we ask the truly pressing questions: would Barcelona and Real Madrid survive the Premier League grind, or just end up mid‑table behind Palace? Is trading 30 years of league pain for a Champions League every decade the ultimate Faustian bargain? We break down United’s win against Palace, compare dueling 3‑4‑3s, and crown United as the league’s new set‑piece FC specialists. Bruno’s assist tally sparks the eternal Scholes debate — genius or glorified hype? We size up Yoro, wonder if Zirkzee is finally ready to deliver, and judge Adam Wharton’s audition like it’s Britain’s Got Talent. Did skipping Mateta pay off, and how good was it to see Martinez back? Finally, we ask if JJ Gabriel is destined for the first team or just another subplot in United’s never‑ending soap opera. Spoiler: the drama is better than Netflix.