Hosts Julianna Scott and Kelley Jensen explore the complexities of maintaining friendships while raising autistic children. They candidly discuss losing friends who couldn't handle disability, navigating hierarchy within autism mom groups, and dealing with toxic positivity from well-meaning acquaintances. The conversation highlights the importance of finding authentic connections with people who understand your reality without comparison or competition. Through personal stories of both friendship loss and growth, they demonstrate how their own friendship has thrived despite their children being at different points on the spectrum, ultimately celebrating the silver lining of cultivating a smaller but more meaningful circle.
Key Takeaways
- Don't compare, don't compete: The foundation of any lasting friendship is avoiding comparison and competition, especially regarding children's progress.
- Hierarchy exists in autism communities: Some autism parent groups create unspoken hierarchies based on where children fall on the spectrum, which can be alienating.
- Toxic positivity is real: Comments like "all kids do that" or calling IEP meetings "lucky" demonstrate fundamental misunderstanding and aren't helpful.
- Friend loss is common: Many parents of special needs children lose friends due to fear, lack of empathy, or others protecting their own families.
- Know what you need: Understanding what you need from friendships helps identify which relationships serve you.
- Silver lining of smaller circles: Having less time means cutting out relationships that don't serve you, resulting in higher-quality friendships.
- Different challenges can coexist: Friendships can thrive even when children have vastly different abilities and needs.
- Reading the room matters: Friends should be sensitive about bragging during your low moments.
- Boundaries are necessary: Sometimes protecting your family means letting friendships go.
- Authentic support is invaluable: Friends who acknowledge they don't fully understand but show up anyway are precious.
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