In this episode of Relational Lives, Ali and Ros explore the three most common conflict styles that show up in relationships: blame-blame, attack-withdraw, and withdraw-withdraw. With warmth, insight, and lived experience, they help listeners identify their own patterns, understand the emotional drivers underneath, and reflect on how these cycles affect connection. Whether you argue loudly or shut down silently, this episode will help you make sense of what's really happening between you and your partner.Shownotes:Episode: Conflict Styles: How You Fight & Why It MattersIn this episode:00:00 – Intro: Why conflict styles matter03:00 – Blame–Blame (Attack–Attack) Style: Fact wars & emotional explosions11:40 – What’s really going on under the blame game14:15 – Pursuer–Withdrawer Pattern: A one-sided fight for connection20:50 – The still face, shutdowns, and how withdrawal fuels escalation27:40 – Text message tension: Modern conflict and emotional distance30:10 – Withdraw–Withdraw Style: The silent disconnect34:30 – Is no conflict really a problem? When disconnection feels safe38:15 – How to recognise your style & what to do with it42:32 – 3 Takeaway Tips + 'Would You Rather' segment📍 Resources mentioned:'Hold Me Tight' by Dr. Sue Johnson (book + online course0Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) - Therapy model underpinning the conflict stylesStill Face Experiment by Dr. Edward Tronick – Referenced during the withdrawal discussionUnderstanding attachment styles:https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-xwpd3-186c726Negative relationship cycles:Connect with us:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_livesFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/relationallives/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@relational_livesYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Relational_LivesLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tempo-psychotherapy-services-33a00318/Want to share your story or come on the show to discuss your dilemma? Write to us and we might cover it in a future episode. Drop us a message at relationalives@gmail.com or you can anonymously complete our form here: https://forms.office.com/e/qcrCkbhPiT. We’d also love to hear updates if you’ve written in before. Subscribe for future episodes on trauma, attachment and more mental health topics. If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend.Disclaimer:Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only. Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help. Credits: Music by: Stile Tree StudioProduced by: Synergy Podcast Studio