These haven’t been the easiest of times for the restaurant business, with chains closing hundreds of units and bankruptcy providing a last lifeline for former powers like TGI Fridays and Red Lobster. But those tribulations are nothing compared to what’s befallen the marketing icons who’ve filled such big shoes for the trade in the past. And we mean literally big. Like Ronald McDonald’s 29EEEs. 

The career trajectory of restaurant mascots and spokes-beings has taken a decided turn for the worst. It’s a wonder they’ve not pivoted to writing blues songs, given how little marketing work is coming their way these days. If it weren’t for the big smiles painted on their faces, we’d likely see more than a few tears rolling down the cheeks of the former media stars.

With tongue firmly embedded in cheek, we devote this week’s episode of Restaurant Rewind to the career slide of onetime A-listers like Ronald, the Big Boy, Jack and Wendy. Grab a tissue and listen to why characters who once rivaled Santa Claus in recognition value are now calculating their chances of driving for Uber.