Santa Claus Biography Flash a weekly Biography.

Alright everyone, Marc Ellery here, your favorite slightly disheveled biographer who once tried to fact-check a myth and nearly short-circuited his own brain. Today’s “Santa Claus Biography Flash” is all about what the jolly old legend has—hypothetically—been up to this week in the fever dream that is September 2025.

Let’s start with the hard news: Brockville, Ontario is serving up a drama spicier than a gingerbread latte. Their annual Santa Claus Parade—which, let’s be real, is basically the Olympics for plush red suits—erupted into controversy faster than mall Santas after Black Friday sales. Last year’s organizers, the McKinnons, took to social media to plead for the city to waive their event fees. The mayor, Matt Wren, shot back, not loving the “wackadoodles from Facebook” storm that followed. Classic small-town politics, where Santa’s sleigh might run on goodwill but apparently not on unpaid street permissions. The city will now take over management. If biography textbooks are ever rewritten to add an appendix titled “Bureaucratic Nightmares Faced by Fictional Icons,” this episode should be etched in gold leaf, maybe next to Santa’s Naughty List.

Meanwhile, in more festive but equally fictional news, Disney just dropped an early look at their 2025 holiday merchandise. Because nothing says “timeless spirit of giving” quite like Mickey Mouse pilfering Santa’s look for a tote bag. For collectors, you can soon cradle a plush Mickey dressed as Santa or flex your exclusive DVC member hoodie emblazoned with Mouse Claus. According to WDW News Today, they’re banking on the crossover between Disney fans and Santa devotees—so, essentially, anyone with a heartbeat between ages three and ninety.

Yes, across the pond, Paris is prepping for the ultra-cosy Marché de Noël at La Villette starting November 20. Expect Swiss-inspired chalets, storytime for kids, fire shows, and—of course—Santa photo ops. If you’re booking flights for a selfie with Père Noël himself, just remember: the village decor might be more authentic than Santa’s beard.

For the record, Santa’s TikTok is still a barren wasteland, but if anyone sees him floss dancing or going viral, please DM me immediately.

And finally, shoutout to Tinsel Tunes, who just dropped—for the four millionth time—a fresh “Santa Claus Is Coming to Town” cover on YouTube. If you’re keeping some kind of running tally, yes, that’s about one new version for every three hours of human civilization.

As always, thanks for tuning in, folks. Smash that subscribe button so you never miss an update on the world’s most successful imaginary gift-giver, and don’t forget to search “Biography Flash” for more deep dives—because no one breaks down the bios of the bold, bizarre, and bearded quite like we do.

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