While tidying up after some Airbnb guests, a gay man discovered a vibrator left under the pillow. Should he message the couple and offer to send it back, or would that be too embarrassing? One year ago, a woman called the show about her boyfriend, and Dan advised her to break up with him. But they are still together today, and the woman wonders if she should tell her boyfriend about the episode. On the Magnum, Dan chats with Melissa Febos- bestselling author of "The Dry Season: A Memoir of Pleasure in a Year Without Sex." Febos pressed pause on her promiscuous life and abstained from sex for a year. She and Dan talk about the ways our sexuality defines us, and how we broadcast our desire. A trans man is in love with his girlfriend. The sex is good but not great, because the caller can't bear to indulge his kinky side with his beloved. How can he get out of his head and get nasty with her? Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Blueland. Going eco has never been easier. Revolutionary, refillable cleaning essentials eliminating single-use plastic. Right now, get 15% off your first order by going to Blueland.com/Savage Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From anal sex to asexuality, weddings to webcamming and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage is a cultural force for sex positivity, when we most need it.