But I don't want to go to the party - Spam Filter For Your Brain - Episode 161
On this episode of Spam Filter for Your Brain, HeardinLondon (that's me, but I speak in a weird third person for the algorithm) talks about: Stop Saying Yes Just to Please Others
Key Takeaways:
Notice Your "Shoulds"
You'll learn how to spot the language of obligation in your everyday life—words like "have to," "must," and "should"—and see how they feel in your body. HeardinLondon guides you in swapping those out for "I choose to," creating space for genuine self-checks over automatic people-pleasing.
Most Pressure Is Internal
Discover how much of the pressure you feel to say yes or keep others happy actually comes from inside your own head, not just from others. HeardinLondon breaks down how the internal voice is often much louder than any external expectations.
Why Some "Shoulds" Hurt More Than Others
You'll learn the trick to realising that something only stings—like someone pushing you to go to a party—when it matches an insecurity or story you’re already telling yourself. If it’s not something you agree with, it won’t bother you.
Guilt Comes from Your Thoughts, Not the Situation
This episode teaches you that the guilt or pressure to meet expectations isn’t about the actual ask, but about your own thoughts and beliefs around reliability and "being a good" friend, sibling, or child.
Why Listen to This Episode?
Ever catch yourself saying “yes” to things you don’t actually want to do? 😅
HeardinLondon dives right into why we end up at parties (or plans!) out of obligation, and how you can start breaking the burnout cycle by checking in with your needs.
Full transcript:
https://www.heardinlondon.com/post/i-dontwant-to-go-to-the-party
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