A Joyful Conversation About Relating — With Teacher, Facilitator, and Inquisitive Human, James-Olivia Chu Hillman

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Solving For Joy

Chrissie Ott, MD

65 episodes

1 day ago

Through in depth conversations with a wide range of guests, Solving for Joy explores the idea that we are always trying to solve life's equation for maximal joy. We'll discover what constants are actually variables we can change and have a lot of laughs along the way. Dr. Chrissie Ott brings a coaching lens, experience in healthcare, entrepreneurship and creativity to the table. We hope this podcast is a tool for many to reclaim delight in their own personal and professional lives!

All content for Solving For Joy is the property of Chrissie Ott, MD and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.

A Joyful Conversation About Relating — With Teacher, Facilitator, and Inquisitive Human, James-Olivia Chu Hillman

Solving For Joy

1 hour 2 minutes

3 months ago

A Joyful Conversation About Relating — With Teacher, Facilitator, and Inquisitive Human, James-Olivia Chu Hillman

When relationships feel hard—especially across differences—it might be time to rethink how we relate. What if joy isn’t always something to solve, but something we can allow?

Relational facilitator James-Olivia Chu Hillman (Inquisitive Human; creator of REGARD) joins Chrissie to get precise—and playful—about desire, skill, and capacity; the four skills of relating; and the quiet ways “helping” turns into control.

In this honest, spacious conversation, we explore congruence, empathy that follows rather than fixes, and why prizing difference can deepen trust—even when values clash.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

The three-part foundation for right relationship: desire, skill, capacity
The four relational skills: empathy, empathic listening, congruence, and unconditional positive regard
How to practice empathic listening so the other person confirms you got them—no mind-reading required
Congruence in real life: sharing your inside so others can locate you (without oversharing)
What “benevolent contempt” looks like—and how to stop helping people up the wrong tree
Sovereignty vs. agency (and why sovereignty isn’t a moving target)
Disobedience as alignment: when breaking a rule is the most honest way to care
A gentler stance on joy: shifting from problem-solving to allowing

If you’re longing for steadier, kinder conversations—at work, at home, or in care settings—this episode is your invitation.

Think of this as your reset button.

Subscribe for real talk, relational tools, and the spark to reconnect with your joy—new episodes every Tuesday.

A gentle note: I’m a doctor, but I’m not your doctor. This podcast is for education and connection only and isn’t medical advice. Please talk with your own clinician about your specific situation.

More from James-Olivia Chu Hillman:
Website: https://inquisitivehuman.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/inquisitive_human/

Stay connected with us:
Dr. Chrissie Ott: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chrissieottmd
Joy Point Solutions: https://www.instagram.com/joypointsolutions
Solving for Joy Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/solvingforjoypodcast
Full transcript and more: https://www.solvingforjoy.com

Next week on Solving for Joy: Dr. Bob Macauley—pediatric palliative care physician, Episcopal priest, and author of Because I Knew You: How Some Remarkable Sick Kids Healed a Doctor’s Soul—on the search for the least-bad option and the moments that hold us together.

Music by Denys Kyshchuk (AudioCoffee): https://www.audiocoffee.net