my Father, the Creator, gives me what you hear me say 

and what you see me do 

the Mother of Wisdom, Shekinah-Sophia, the Holy Spirit of Truth 

bears witness to this

becoming aware that I was in the death process for years 

continually resisting the rebirthing, the initiations 

I did not realize what was happening, or know how to do it 

I did not know how to let concrete reality dissolve gracefully 

and safely at the time, while raising two daughters