Welcome back to Spoken For. This week, the lights are low, the candles are lit, and the Merlot has been poured. This Halloween special isn’t about ghosts - it’s about honesty: the conversations that make your stomach drop but also clear the house of things that rattle at 3 a.m.
If you’ve been rehearsing a tough conversation with your partner in your head for weeks but can't bring yourself to say it out loud, this one’s for you. Fear is biology. Avoidance is corrosion. And tonight, we pick courage.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
Why scary talks feel like danger (your brain reads rejection as pain) - and how to work with your body, not against it.
The four “haunted rooms”:
“I’m not happy.”
“I don’t feel desired.”
“I want something different.”
“I feel alone, even with you.”
Timing, tone, and language that keep truth survivable.
Repair, regulation, and the “honesty hangover.”
Why avoidance (stonewalling) is deadlier than disagreement - and how repair builds resilience.
Episode Resources & Mentions:
The Gottman Institute
Esther Perel
UCLA research on social pain and rejection.
The Body Keeps The Score, by Bessel van der Kolk
Key Takeaway: The absence of conflict is distance, rather than peace. Choose honest pain over pointless pain. Start small, breathe first, speak plainly, repair gently. The most damaging conversations are the ones we never have out loud.
Let’s Stay Connected:
Email → spokenforpod@gmail.com
Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/altarandtoast
Wedding vows & speeches → www.altarandtoast.co.uk
Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/ryan
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