Our X-25 is the most brilliant piece of equipment Speedfitters has. My company installed the X-25 at Ken Barac's new and used car. They love it because it allows many more customers to make a down payment on a new or used car. And I love it because it separates arms or legs without an ounce of blood being spilled.

Basically, someone goes to Ken Barac's, finds a new or used car they like and if they don't have enough for the down payment, the salesperson asks if they'd like to use an arm or leg for the downpayment.

The X-25 is always full of limbs when I show up on Wednesdays for my service check on the machine.

Jerry Reader, the sales manager, keeps bugging me for a kidney chopper, telling me they have the need. And I must agree because that damned X-25 is always full of limbs when I do my checks.

I just think it sucks that in 2048 America people have to cut off a limb just to afford a new vehicle. And now I'll have to learn how to service the X-30, which is the kidney separation unit. I better stop calling it a "kidney chopper" or the front office will have my ass.