This week, I had a truly enjoyable conversation with Jamie, a leader whose approach to his team is as insightful as it is refreshing. He shared a simple but powerful idea that speaks volumes about his leadership philosophy:
"I don’t want to be the smartest person in the room. At that point, I need to find a different room to be in."
That one sentence reveals so much about how he leads, grounded, humble, and focused on collective success over individual credit. Jamie explained that real leadership isn't about being the hero; it’s about setting everyone else up for success, even if it means stepping back and supporting others. As he put it:
"If it enhances the output of the whole team, then so be it."
This kind of low-ego mindset doesn’t happen by chance. It comes from experience, reflection, and learning from mistakes. And often, it’s cultivated in cultures that reward genuine contribution, not individual control.
We often talk about ego in a negative way as if it’s all about arrogance or self-importance. But it’s not that simple. Ego is really our sense of self, the part of us that says “this is who I am.”
We can think of it like this:
Finding Balance: Our ego sits between our instincts and our values. It helps us make choices that meet our needs while staying true to what feels right and fair.
How We See Ourselves: It’s the part that builds the story we tell ourselves about who we are shaped by our experiences, beliefs, and the things we care about.
Staying Grounded: When it’s healthy, ego keeps us centred. It helps us handle stress, manage emotions, and stay adaptable when things get tough.
When It Gets in the Way: When it’s out of balance, ego can show up as defensiveness, comparison, or the need to be right and that’s when it starts to get in the way.
In short, ego isn’t something we need to get rid of, it's something we need to understand. When we learn to work with it rather than for it, we lead with both confidence and humility.
The Power of Human Connection
Despite his highly technical background, one of Jamie's favorite parts of work isn't code or architecture, it’s building genuine connections with his colleagues. He put it perfectly:
"We all have complex lives, but building a genuine connection with close colleagues is perhaps my favorite part of work."
In a world obsessed with speed, AI, and automation, that message is more important than ever. Human connection is the quiet infrastructure of sustainable teams. It’s what creates a foundation for honesty, innovation, and psychological safety. Without it, collaboration can quickly turn into mere compliance.
Leading With Clarity and Empathy
When we discussed working with stakeholders and customers, Jamie’s advice was refreshingly direct:
"Clear honesty, backed by data, and a bit of optimism, that’s key."
To this, I would add one more crucial element: empathy. As a leader, it's vital to put yourself in your stakeholder's shoes.
What information do they need?
Why do they need it?
What pressures are they under, and how can you genuinely help?
When you lead with this level of awareness, communication becomes less about proving a point and more about creating real understanding.
So, what is ego really?