How do you stop beating yourself up?

1. Act like you are counseling someone else that is coming to you with those concerns.  

a. You wouldn't say stuff as you suck, you loser, you are never going to be able to do that.

b. You would be supportive but in a real way.

2. Stop saying you are the only one and the victim stuff.

a. All other people are also struggling

b. You have to understand that no matter what, no one has it all together all the time.

c. Be present with what you are feeling 

i. Don't try to fight it - because you'll constantly be thinking about it.

ii. Don't fight for it - If you argue for your limits and weaknesses you become that.

iii. There is no perfection - Do not catastrophize everything.

iv. Be accepting of yourself and your flaws but also figure out what it is you need to work on.  Like someone is taking care of you.  What would they tell you?

v. Use the word YET.  I'm not where I want to be yet.  I don't read as much as I want to yet.  I don't have as many friends as it want yet. Etc (This gives you something to work on)

3. You fight the negative thoughts with the inertia of confidence

a. Sure you can say stuff like "Hey negative thought, I'm shutting you down!"  However, if people knew how to do that we wouldn't have this problem.  If you dwell on it you create it permanently.  Imagine saying that to a student, hey just shut it down?  Don't you think they/everyone already know that??  So how do you fight it?

b. How do you get confidence?

i. By doing, not by thinking about it…by doing something, and most of the time for someone else.

4. The world and our thoughts naturally tilts toward the negative

a. Ted talk study about how people get stuck in the negative

i. Survey of doctors about a procedure that has a 70% success rate and the other group was presented a 30% failure rate.  Group A looked at this at first favorable but when presented like group B they looked at it unfavorably.  Group B stayed negative even when looking at it like group A after they were presented 70% success rate.  

5. You have to work at staying positive. - THE KEY TAKEAWAY

a. Steve Harvey talks about the foreman on the positive side of the brain and the foreman on the left side of the brain.  

b. Being grateful.

Inspiration

Jim Kwik  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XkviCyYmZ0

Steve Harvey https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yWDo-y-tK7k