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#197 Holding our nerve: navigating urges and building tenacity in breaking hoarding behaviours
That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding
33 minutes
2 months ago
#197 Holding our nerve: navigating urges and building tenacity in breaking hoarding behaviours
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Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/
Today I’m talking about what it really takes to stick to our dehoarding decisions - how to resist urges, tolerate discomfort, and actually follow through, even when it’s tough. I’ll share why holding our nerve matters, what gets in the way, and some strategies to help avoid falling back into old patterns. Plus, there’s a practical top tip at the end to help boost your self-care this month.
Holding Our Nerve
Explanation of the gap between deciding to act and actually taking action when dehoarding
Definition in Hoarding Context
Persistence in sticking to healthy, productive decisions
Managing urges to revert to hoarding behaviours
Commitment to goals for sustainable progress
Reference to Amelia Earhart’s quote about decision-making and tenacity
“Paper tigers” explanation – things we fear that seem big but aren’t as powerful as they appear
Application to Hoarding Behaviour
Resisting Acquiring Items
Examples: bargain shopping, free items, online shopping temptations
Enduring Discomfort in Dehoarding
Tolerating emotional and physical discomfort during the dehoarding process
Maintaining Long-term Commitment
Remembering reasons for setting goals in the first place
Avoiding short-term gratification and honouring original decisions
Hoarding as a Coping Mechanism
Exploration of how and why hoarding behaviours develop and persist
Acknowledging that they once served a purpose and understanding possible current motivations
Strategies for Holding Our Nerve
Breaking the Cycle
Recognising urges and patterns
Learning from successes and setbacks
Decision-Making vs. Tenacity
Differentiating between difficulty in deciding versus following through
The importance of honouring previous decisions
Reminders and Motivation
Recalling the “why” behind goals (better living conditions, consequences, self-improvement)
Using motivational tools (e.g., visual reminders, Pinterest boards)
Compassion and Flexibility
Allowing for Mistakes
Emphasis on not seeking perfection, just consistent progress
Adjusting Expectations
Recognising that personal best varies from day to day
Trusting the process, even during discomfort
Building the “Dehoarding Muscle”
Each successful decision builds strength and determination for future efforts
Identifying and Addressing Triggers
Internal Triggers
Decision fatigue, emotional attachment, mental and physical exhaustion, anxiety or depression
Self-doubt and “what if I need it?” thoughts
External Triggers
Specific shops, websites, sales, or social pressure from others
Discouragement, overwhelm, enticing offers, or resistance from people uncomfortable with change
Planning Around Triggers
Identifying personal stumbling blocks and creating plans to avoid or counteract them
Coping Tactics for Urges
Acknowledgment & Self-Reflection
Naming feelings and urges to reduce their power
Recognising patterns and underlying needs (e.g., hunger, mood)
Nervous System Regulation
Using grounding techniques, calming objects, self-talk, and other anxiety-management tools
Allowing oneself to feel discomfort without acting on it
Dealing with “What If I Need It?” Thoughts
Trusting future self to be resourceful
Breaking down hypothetical worries and seeking alternatives
Importance of Support Systems
Building and Using Support Networks
Therapists, friends, accountability groups (Zoom sessions), online communities
Support as both emotional (crying, laughing) and practical (advice, checks on decisions)
Loneliness and Variations in Support
Recognition that not everyone has support, with encouragement to proactively seek help
Mention of a related episode on loneliness
Self-Compassion and Learning from Setbacks
Self-forgiveness and Reflection
Importance of forgiving oneself instead