In this episode, Dr. Dirk J. Kremer explores a strange truth we rarely admit out loud: that many of us want beauty — deeply, honestly — but we feel uncomfortable saying so. Wanting to look good is one of the oldest human impulses, yet somehow it has become something we feel we must hide.
Why is it so difficult to say, “Yes, I care about my appearance”?
Why does even the desire for beauty feel embarrassing, or too revealing, or too “much”?
In this quiet, reflective essay, Dr. Kremer looks at the social tension between what we say and what we feel. We insist we are low-maintenance, natural, “not really into beauty”… yet most of us carry an inner longing to feel aligned with our reflection. We want to look rested, harmonious, confident — but we don’t want anyone to know that we want it.
Dr. Kremer explores why this contradiction exists. Why people fear sounding vain, shallow, or self-obsessed. Why admitting we want to look beautiful feels like admitting a secret weakness. And why society tells us we should look good — but effortlessly, without trying, without wanting, without caring too visibly. Beauty must appear accidental, or people judge it.
The episode also touches on the subtle shame surrounding beauty: how women are criticized for caring “too much,” yet equally criticized for “letting themselves go.” How men pretend not to think about their appearance at all. How wanting change feels personal, vulnerable, even risky — as if revealing it exposes something essential about us.
And yet, beneath all the noise, the desire for beauty is rarely superficial. For many, it is about harmony, confidence, self-respect, and the wish to finally feel at ease in their own skin. It is about wanting the outside to reflect the inside.
This episode invites listeners to reflect on that tension honestly and without judgment. To understand that wanting beauty does not make us vain — it makes us human. And that the nervousness around beauty is often a sign of how deeply it matters to our identity, not how shallow it is.
A calm, intimate exploration of the wish we all know… but rarely dare to say out loud.