How can Yahweh be a loving God and a consuming fire? I don’t understand the combination.

How was I to see His Love in the death of my father ?

I got so frustrated, one day my mum asked : Jess let’s go to church
I replied mummy if you force me I would leave the faith completely.
In this episode, I shared how I learnt to play religion.

I often asked in distrust , If God is so loving why would He be so strict and mean.

Timothy Keller replied in a podcast ‘The Love of God’: Jess If you had a child  who goes about hurting and shooting people and the society would you let him? Isn’t there love in correction? My fears revealed the true state of my heart towards God and what I wanted Him to be .
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/timothy-keller-sermons-podcast-by-gospel-in-life/id352660924?i=1000550783303

Jackie Hill Perry seconded in her book Holier than Thou .
God cannot be indifferent towards sin . He is Holy and His Justice is Holy.

Nowwww! My heart is deep into Him . Everyday draws me deeper . I am so In Love! I can’t pretend. I love Yahweh, I am so real with Him, I hear Him. I rest in Him.

I am born of His Spirit,  adopted and I bear His Last name : Jessica Abba
My identity is birth in Him. The old things have passed away.

I learnt about the Good news of the gospel through Pastor Eva Dan-Yusuf
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/thestudyroom-podcast/id1523971756?i=1000485242534

But it didn’t just start like that, my journey into Him started lost when I…. click the link