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137 - The Holiday Kids Table Is Dead: Bring Back the Porch Exile
The Barn Philosopher
20 minutes
3 weeks ago
137 - The Holiday Kids Table Is Dead: Bring Back the Porch Exile
Shelby and Ridge are back at it, kicking off the holiday season with a gripe that hits every parent and uncle hard: the mysterious disappearance of the kids table.
We reminisce about the glory days—banished to folding tables on heated porches, crammed into laundry rooms, or stuck in the kitchen with the weird cousins—where we laughed until we cried, flicked mashed potatoes, and plotted against the adults. Those were the best parts of every holiday.
Now? Kids are front and center, climbing on laps, asking why Uncle Larry drinks so much, and generally “up in our business” the entire meal. What happened? When did we decide segregation by age was cruel? And why does nobody want to bring back the exile?
It’s equal parts nostalgia, mild outrage, and two grown men admitting we kinda miss being the troublemakers in the back room.
If you ever snuck extra pie at the kids table or wish your house still had a designated chaos zone, this one’s for you.
Rate 5 stars, subscribe, share with whoever used to rule the card table kingdom. On Apple, Spotify, YouTube, Podbean. New episodes Wednesdays & Sundays—notifications on, before the little ones steal your seat.