The Desire Gap: Real Solutions for Couples with Mismatched Sex Drives
Laura Jurgens, Ph.D.
95 episodes
3 days ago
You think having sex when you don't really want to will keep your partner happy. But obligation sex actually destroys desire—and doesn't help either of you in the long run. Research shows that when you cross your own boundaries repeatedly this way, your desire drops even further. Resentment builds. And your partner can wind up feeling even more unwanted. I break down what actually happens with obligation sex, why it doesn't help either partner, and how to choose a different option that honors...
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You think having sex when you don't really want to will keep your partner happy. But obligation sex actually destroys desire—and doesn't help either of you in the long run. Research shows that when you cross your own boundaries repeatedly this way, your desire drops even further. Resentment builds. And your partner can wind up feeling even more unwanted. I break down what actually happens with obligation sex, why it doesn't help either partner, and how to choose a different option that honors...
Getting on the Same Team, Part 1: Stop venting to friends and start solving the problem together
The Desire Gap: Real Solutions for Couples with Mismatched Sex Drives
30 minutes
1 month ago
Getting on the Same Team, Part 1: Stop venting to friends and start solving the problem together
You're both in pain about your desire gap, but you're processing it separately – venting to friends, talking to therapists, building separate narratives about what's wrong. Meanwhile, the gap between you keeps widening. Sound familiar? Most couples approach mismatched libidos like adversaries: one person wants more sex, one wants less, and now you're fighting about whose needs matter more. But when one of you loses, you both lose. In this episode, you'll learn why the adversarial approach nev...
The Desire Gap: Real Solutions for Couples with Mismatched Sex Drives
You think having sex when you don't really want to will keep your partner happy. But obligation sex actually destroys desire—and doesn't help either of you in the long run. Research shows that when you cross your own boundaries repeatedly this way, your desire drops even further. Resentment builds. And your partner can wind up feeling even more unwanted. I break down what actually happens with obligation sex, why it doesn't help either partner, and how to choose a different option that honors...
