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The Download
The Download Podcast
57 episodes
1 week ago
We are The Download! A comedy podcast made to fill your eyes with tears... of joy! We do improv, talk about life, and make this podcast just for you <3
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Comedy
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We are The Download! A comedy podcast made to fill your eyes with tears... of joy! We do improv, talk about life, and make this podcast just for you <3
Show more...
Comedy
https://d3t3ozftmdmh3i.cloudfront.net/production/podcast_uploaded_nologo/2488874/2488874-1571204873439-6ca5b60249687.jpg
Episode 47 - Evan, Etsy, and Everything Else
The Download
53 minutes 32 seconds
5 years ago
Episode 47 - Evan, Etsy, and Everything Else

Infinite cum.

You sit on the chair to cum, but the cum never stops coming out of your pp. You have to start using tissues every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your pp closed but that makes your pp hurt.

The cum accelerates.

You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your pp fails. People form a cult. Your bed-sheets are finished. Volunteers arrive with tubs and pails. You are completely use to the feeling.

The cum accelerates.

You are moved to a stepladder overlooking a hole in the ground.

The cum accelerates.

The collectors abandon the tubs and pail directly out the window. The cum accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself.

The cum accelerates.

A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pool.

The cum accelerates.

The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The cum ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers.

The cum accelerates.

You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet.

The cum accelerates.

The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your pp hole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes.

The cum accelerates.

1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier.

The cum accelerates.

4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEF-CON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city.

The cum accelerates.

You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive.

The cum accelerates.



By the way, we would love for you to send us questions, comments, concerns, tips, tricks, nitpicks, pejorative statements, debate topics, quips, podcast topics, interesting ideas, CinemaSins™, kerfuffles, weird pizza toppings, reckonings, cereal rankings, real-life superhero names, game recommendations, recipes, game review requests, quarantine activities, fight stories, army lists, animated movies, drink suggestions, guests, Terraria mods, dumb vehicle ideas, favorite snacks, brad foods, cool conspiracy theories, MRE menu recommendations, job applications, Davids, game franchises, nostalgic smells, creepypastas, Quizlet answer keys, Mentos questions, anime suggestaroonies, pre-made survival kits, parodies of Magic™ cards, Marvel reviews, Ghost Adventures™, cheap whiskey, or anything else that pops into that beautiful mind of yours! Send your mail to thedownloadpod@gmail.com.

Also, we would love for you to join our Discord, follow us on the podcast network of your choice, and rate our podcast!  Links to all of these things can be found here!

The Download
We are The Download! A comedy podcast made to fill your eyes with tears... of joy! We do improv, talk about life, and make this podcast just for you <3