Mutant tomatoes are terrorizing the US populace, they leaving a path of death and destruction in their wake. White House press secretary Jim Richardson, speaking on behalf of the President, denies, when specifically asked, any widespread menace by produce so as not to cause panic, the President further directing him to liaise with the public relations firm, Mind Makers, who were behind the President's miraculous election win, to come up with a campaign to dispel any tomato threat. Additionally, the President authorizes a secret committee of the most obscure of scientific and military "experts", who in turn put together a team, led by equally as obscure retired super spy Mason Dixon, to find out what is going on: who is behind the mutant tomatoes, and how to neutralize both the controller and the tomatoes. Dixon's operatives are comprised of those with very specific individual skills: Sam Smith, "master" of disguise of the costume store variety; Gretta Attenbaum, steroid-laden Olympic swimmer recently defected from the east; Greg Colburn, underwater expert perpetually wearing scuba gear no matter where or when; and Lt. Wilbur Finletter, whose unique military field skills Dixon are to learn on the job. Meanwhile, the Times newspaper has obtained a secret Congressional Committee report on the matter of the actual threat. The Editor-in-Chief assigns the only person available on his staff to investigate, namely neophyte reporter Lois Fairchild from the Society section.